The Adventures of Noah and Gozaburo
by Corad and Bijoux
Summary: Short stories based around the stupidity of Gozaburo and Noah. This is hopefully better than it sounds...NOTE: Hopefully...
1. Episode 1: Grizzly Dog

Bijoux: Me and bugalugs aka Corad don't own Yugioh. We own this story together. These will be individual adventures that Gozaburo and Noah have. Noah is based around the age of 12 and Gozaburo is his age now...only god knows what that is...anyways this is based as if they never entered the virtual world but Noah didn't grow up. These stories will probably be only short. Enjoy...

Corad:-- You're a complete idiot......

Bijoux: Takes one to know one Corad! >.>

Corad: (Snort) Only morons believe that....

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**The Adventures of Noah and Gozaburo…**

**Episode 1:**

Noah: (Walks into lounge with a greyhound on leash) Hey father, do like my new dog?

Gozaburo: (Puts paper he was reading down onto the coffee table in front of the sofa he is sitting on in the lounge of mansion.) You call that a dog?!! That's a rat!!! In my day dogs looked like grizzly bears! Not rats!!

Noah: Father…in your day dogs were grizzly bears…(points to picture on wall. Picture shows Gozaburo, as kid, standing with a grizzly bear on a leash a smile on his face)

Gozaburo: Noah don't you back chat me! In my day kids respected their elders and children were treated like onions!!!

Noah: FATHER! In your day children were unions!! (Points back to picture. Gozaburo's head has mysteriously turned into and union.)

Gozaburo….you win this round…. (Gets up to raid the fridge)

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Corad: So, this story was a waste of space and effort, but if you find it in your hearts to reveiw, then we'll all be happy. 

Bijoux:Lamewhat....

Corad: Don't make me come over there! Why would I want to? She smells so bad.....(cough cough)

Bijoux: (wipes tears from eyes) YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TELL!!!

Corad: One more thing, read our profile and you can be entitled to a hand drawn Yugioh Picture...


	2. Episode 2: Football Mishap

**Bijoux: Me and Corad don't own Yugioh and hopefully never will...anyway...thanks for all reviews for this thing's past episode. Some of this story has been ripped off of the Simpsons. Me and Corad don't own that either.**

**Corad: Please read and review my other fic known as 'Mishap on Jerry Springer',it will make my day if you do...Enjoy this story...**

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****The Adventures of Noah and Gozaburo...**

**Episode 2… Football Mishap**

(Noah, Big Five and Gozaburo are all in the lounge room of the mansion of Kaiba watching football. Big five and Noah are keeping a safe distance so when Gozaburo's team admits defeat they might have small chance of escape)

Gozaburo: COME ON!!! NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (Team loses.) YOU PIIIIIGS!!! (Head turns right around without body movements to look at Noah and Big Five who appear to be trying to escape.) WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?!! (get's off his arm chair and heads towards his victims, who gradually back away.)

Noah: Please don't hurt us father!! (cowers behind flab bag, aka Gansley)

Gozaburo: I DO WHAT I WANT IN THIS HOUSEHOLD YOUNG MAN!!! NOW ALL OF YOU IN A STRAIGHT LINE NOW!!! I'M NOT LETTING ANY OF YOU DESTROY MY HOPES AND DREAMS WITH YOUR PROBLEMS!!!

Everyone: (stands in straight line like in army. Gozaburo walks back and fourth along the row of cowering people)

Gozaburo: YOU!!! (Points to Johnson, who begins to whimper and sulk to himself) Learn some self defense and quit being such a nerd!!! YOU!!!! (Points to Nesbit) Stop being such a sleaze bag!!! YOU!!! (Points to Gansley) Loose some weight!!! YOU!! (Points to Crump) Get a better voice tone!!!!! YOU!!! (Points to Noah) Learn to do ironing, sewing, washing up and cooking!!! AND YOU!!!! (Points to Lector) You are the worst accented man I have ever met!!!! (Leaves room)

Noah and Big Five: (sigh with relief)…

Lector: How bout we not let him lock the door next time, eh?

Others: (agreeing noises)

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Bijoux: Okay...how was that...? Please review this story...If you do you can be my friend...

Corad: No one is gonna review now...

Bijoux: Shut up...


	3. Episode 3: Flower Troubles

**Bijoux: Okay...well that thanks for the reviews people we appriciate it heaps...We don't own Yugioh... **

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**The Adventures of Noah and Gozaburo**

**3- Flower Troubles…**

(This is occurring on Christmas day…Gozaburo has invited all of the relatives around for Christmas dinner , though it's in the middle of the day so really it should he Christmas lunch…but anyway…Surprisingly all of Gozaburo's relatives look like him, sound like him and act like him…the women even have his facial hair…and there is that one women who looks kinda like Noah…And that women that women aka Gozy's sister, who is wearing that hat on top of her head…she has like golden locks but you can see the Gozaburo grey hair underneath her own hair style…heh…yeah…)

Gozaburo: (Wearing pink flowery chef hat, apron and oven mitts. Is cooking some form of meat in the oven. ) Ah, the wonders of Christmas…HOW I HATE THEM!!!

Noah: (comes into kitchen and up to Gozaburo) Father…somebody parked their car on your prized daisies again….(cough) Auntie Beth (Cough)…

Gozaburo: Not this time she doesn't… (Death glares into the distance before running outside with some of those things which you use to turn meat over…like a form of bigger tongs. Pop's all the tyres of the car with the cooking thing. Smiles widely then waves at Noah who is watching from the lounge room window. Gozaburo then disappears around the back of the house and get's into his tank. Drives past Noah's window, his head is turned at the window, he is smiling widely and waving again as he drives past. He drives forward on the car then reverses, then goes forward again. He repeats this for about 2 more minutes before he gets out the tank pours petrol all over the car. He then throws a match on it and it catches alight like hell. He turns and faces Noah and smiles and waves again. Noah waves back, slightly grinning. Gozaburo pulls out a fire extinguisher and extinguishes the fire. He then get's his pink, flowery watering can and aimlessly waters where his flowers used to be…even though they are now only ashes of broken Gozaburo dreams…)

Noah: (cheers) Go father…it's ya birthday…go father it's ya birthday….

Gozaburo: (notices cheers and tries to break it down by dancing. He starts to do that Egyptian dance thing and the shimmy. He then comes back inside, his apron, mitts, hat, face, hair and rest of his front is covered in black ash. Goes back to cooking like it never happened…)

**End… **

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**Bijoux:Sorry if anyone has an auntie called Beth...it was the first thing that came to mind and I don't want to offend anyone..niether does Corad...even though I kinda write these things...she just helps put things in them...**

**Corad: Get outta my stuff (Shakes fist at the dog)... **

**Bijoux: Corad, leave Jack alone...**

**Corad: You aren't meant to be black...When we got you, you were white...nerrgh DOG!**

**Bijoux: Corad...He's meant to be black and white...he's a border collie...and he was too black and white when we got him...Idiot...Anyway, please review... **


	4. Episode 4: Diary Jerk

**Bijoux: we don't own Yugioh, if we did the studio would be on fire right now. **

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Episode 4...Diary Jerk…**

Gozaburo and Noah: (Sitting in lounge room of their mansion. Gozaburo: Reading news paper whilst wearing his reading glasses and smoking his pipe, which apparently blows bubbles. Noah: Playing game boy.)

Noah: Father! Some one has been playing my game boy while eating greasy potato chips!! (Cough) Father (Cough)…

Gozaburo: (Puts paper down, takes off glasses and takes out pipe. Does important person pose with leg crossed over the other) Son there comes a time in life when a father, aimlessly to your minds, raids a boys room…and when that time comes you can only expect that your extra grease chips and your spotlessly, smooth and clean game boys are the main attraction and target… (Get's up) Now if you'll excuse me…I think I left my trick or treat Halloween candy in the oven…

Noah: But father I was the only one who went trick or treating this year…and my candy is in my room…

Gozaburo: Oh…this candy it from last year…and I assure you it's mine…I wouldn't steal candy from my own son…I'm not a soulless monster…(chuckles to self. Eventually and fortunately leaves.)…

Noah: Oh, okay father… (Goes back to game)

Gozaburo: (Disappears around corner) Heh…children…so naïve… (Starts to laugh as he turns the door knob into Noah's room. Strolls in and begins to raid Noah's variety of all personal, useless and daily belongings. Begins to eat candy bar from a sack labeled Noah's Halloween candy. Starts to read a passage out of Noah's personal diary which has somehow been unlocked by Gozaburo. Begins to read aloud in a sissy tone. (Noah was angry/upset and possibly crying when he wrote this) Dear diary…father is so fat... (Spits little bits of spit soaked chocolate out of his mouth as he reads)…why can't he go on a diet or something…I hate him!!! He just so embarrassing! When he picks me up from school in the afternoon he comes in his beaten up old jeep, only wearing a pair of worn out stubby shorts…If I'm lucky he'll arrive wearing a tattered singlet…that has yellow stains on it! The kids poke and make fun of **ME** because **_he's_** so un-dignified…sometimes he arrives with all different varieties of food crap in his facial hair...and yes that includes his eyebrows!!!! Maybe someday he'll learn to be civilized!!! (Back to normal tone ect…) Heh…what a jerk of a father this guy is...glad this isn't what my boy thinks of me!!! (Chuckles. Takes another bit out of bar formerly known as Noah's chocolate.) Heh…hope I never turn out like that…(starts to laugh really loud)…Well…I'm gonna go raid the fridge. (Drops candy bar wrapper on the diary and get's up to raid the fridge)…

Noah: (arrives about 5 minutes later at room. Walks in and realizes that his room has been half sabotaged by Gozaburo) Oh no!! Father has been in my room! I hope he didn't read my diary again…(spots diary lying on bed with the candy wrapper on top of it) Oh no…(picks up diary and flips though the pages. Comes to a halt at the page Gozaburo had read. Chocolate bits had been splattered on the page) FAAAAAATHEEEEEEEEER!!!! (Runs out room and into the kitchen)…I hope he's not mad at me…

Gozaburo: (sitting at table eating/drinking a carton of vanilla custard. Custard has been spattered down his front).

Noah: Father… (Walks up to Gozaburo)

Gozaburo: Want some son…? (Shoves carton under Noah's nose. Gozaburo appears to have custard in his hair and around his mouth near his beard and mustache)

Noah: Um…no… (Moves away from the carton) Father have you been reading my diary…again…?

Gozaburo:….err…. 'oh no…he knows the truth…' nooo…what gave you that idea…?

Noah: (Shoves the page full of chocolate in Gozaburo's face)

Gozaburo: oh would you look at the time…I have to go clean my room…Here son I'll clean that for you while I'm there…(takes diary away from Noah. Later arrives back in Noah's room raiding the stuff again.)

Noah: (comes into his room) FATHER!!!

Gozaburo: I didn't do it!! Throws last years diary out the window and whimpers) Don't look at me!! Don't look at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! (Tries to cover self up- as he's naked or something-with another diary. Soon get's up and runs out the door screaming and carrying on as usual)

**End… **

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**Bijoux: Err...yeah...please review...or you'll wake up in the middle of the night to sound of a tracter in your bedroom heading for your bed...**

**Corad: You don'town a tracter and you never will... **

**Bijoux: Lousy..little no good...thing...**

**Corad: And besides,I'd like to see you get a tracter inside the front and bedroom door for that matter....a mower might fit though....but.....**

**Bijoux: That is just soniave****of you Corad...I'll just take half the wall with me...**

**Corad: Yeah right, stenchinator. I'll believe it whenI see it.**

**Bijoux: Fine, I will (Runs outside and hijacks next door neighbors Tracter. Drives through living room wall)**

**Corad: Ok....well, read and review.....or I'll startcomplaining thatno one likes me again....**


	5. Episode 5: Fatcercise

**Bijoux: I don't own Yugioh. Um...as well if it wasn't for Tara. Winstan then this story probably wouldn't exist, so if one of you people who may read this want's more but I don't write more ages then just stick it in a review oremail me or something...so yeah... I also ripped some otherstuff off, that is in the this addition so um...yeah...I don't own that either...even though I can't remeber what they're off...but anyway...enjoy!**

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The Adventures of Noah and Gozaburo… **

**Today's episode…fatcercise…**

Scenario: (Gozaburo sitting on couch watching TV. Stuffing a wide variety of cholesterol high foods into his mouth. Noah walks up to him and stands in the way of the TV)

Gozaburo: Hey! Get the hell out of the road boy! (Throws chip and cookie wrappers, and soda pop bottles at Noah who dodges the assault and glares at Gozaburo.)

Noah: Father, it has come to my attention that you aren't the only one in this house who needs to loose some weight…(points to the pet dog, who much resembles a barrel)

Gozaburo: So…?

Noah: Well I think maybe we should take him for a walk in the park…

Gozaburo: What are you implying…? (Almost in tears)

Noah: (sighs) Father just get your shoes and put on some decent clothes…

Gozaburo: What's wrong with the clothes I'm wearing now…? (Looks at stubbies and tattered, stain filled singlet he's wearing)

Noah: Father just do it…(rolls eyes. Strolls off and waits for Gozaburo outside with the dog)

Gozaburo: (comes out the house and locks the front door)…

Noah and Gozaburo: (walking along happily.)

Gozaburo: (looks bedraggled and tired. Sweat visible in his armpits) Err…Son…son wait…I can't keep up…I too tired…you go without me…god I need a hot dog…(panting)

Noah: Father…(vision zooms out to show house only a couple of feet away)…we've only taken 5 steps off the front porch…

Gozaburo: No…it's too far…(starts to pant as he falls to the floor and moans)

Noah: Father…(Starts to kick Gozaburo in the side of his blunderish head. Sighs)

Gozaburo: I'm so hungry………………

Noah: (sighs irritably) Father…you always do something like this!! This is even worse than the time you high jacked the washing machine and rode it down the street and through the KFC drive through!!! (Starts to cry) I HATE YOU!!! (turns to run away)

Gozaburo: Wait…(puts hand up to stop Noah) will you be putting this in your…in your…. in your diary…? (Still panting whilst lying on the cement driveway)

Noah: Oh don't worry father! My diary will be hearing about this! (Runs away but is stopped by Gozaburo who has grabbed his pants.)

Gozaburo: Son…before I go…I want you to have my shoes…(kicks shoes off and begins to pant harder)…oh and…you said it's your personal diary…when I believe it belongs to me as well…now farewell my son…look after the butter…(head falls to the floor and Gozaburo is apparently dead)

Noah: FATHER!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Tears streaming down face) I'll save you father!! (Runs inside and comes back with bacon on the end of a fork. Wafts the bacon around Gozaburo as if trying to use if like smelling salt)

Gozaburo: (slowly gets up) What happened…? All I remember is the grim reaper talking about "You were supposed to meet Jenny Craig, not eat her"…when I was over powered by the urge to eat bacon…

Noah: Father! You're alive!

Gozaburo: (apparently gone elsewhere.)

Noah: (looks over horizon and sees Gozaburo disappearing towards the sunset/McDonalds. He's riding the washing machine) Well…he's fat…irritating and he smells funny…but there goes the best damn pie eating contestant in the world…(sighs)

**END…?**

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Bijoux: Please review...um yeah...this was pretty pointlessly random... 


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